Who Am I?
by PhilosophicalCats
Summary: For the first time...Mattie's the only one asking who he is. Angst, PruCan.
1. Chapter 1

Prussia ran into the world meeting, panting, sweating, terrified. Calling England, America and France into the hall, he began running again, speaking to them as they followed. "There's been an incident."

"He hit his head...pretty hard. He was playing hockey and some kid crashed into him. He woke up about an hour ago...He can't remember a thing.. Not even his own name.." Gil stood beside his bed, tears welling up in his eyes. "I keep trying but I can't seem to get through to him..." Kumajirou walked up next to him, a curious look. "Who are you?" He hummed to the confused man. Gil felt tears roll down his cheeks, kissing the other mans forehead. "He's Canada..."

The family had been pulled together, and for the first time they all really noticed him. Canada. Little Matthew Williams, he wasn't himself now. He wasn't that innocent little boy, no, he was confused and afraid. He didn't know who he was, let alone the others that had come to see him. Those once soft violet eyes now screamed out in fear. The others noted this, feeling as if they should just leave him be, that this would all sort itself out. "We should head back, dudes... Germany isn't gonna be happy we left.." America spoke up from the doorway. The other two agreed, turning to leave. "He's your family... your brother, your son! Can't you think about him for once! Do you honestly think that this will all just be okay?!" Gil had fallen to his knees beside Matthew's bed, head in his hands as tears hit the floor. "I love him so much... But he can't even remember my name... I want to believe he'll be fine... But... It's like I'm the only one that cares..." his voice was weak, strained, agonizing. "I'm sorry birdie.. I'm sorry I couldn't stop this from happening.." Standing up, he wiped the tears from his face. Slowly, he walked over to the dresser he shared with Matthew. Yes, they had lived together, as they had been dating for nearly two years now. Gil had grabbed something out of the dresser and walked over to the bed again as he began crying for what felt like the millionth time today. "I..I wanted to do this...today actually..when you came home.. I didn't know this would happen or I would've done it sooner.." He gulped back tears, trying to keep himself together as the truth of it all began to sink in. "If you never remember me, or what we had... I still want to give you this.." He held out a ring, shocking the others who still stood in the doorway. "I wanted to propose...for us to finally become one... But.. now I wont get that chance.." A hand reached out to him, an odd look on Canada's face. "I...I'm g-gay? weird.." Canada spoke, turning away. As that sunk in, Gil knew he wouldn't ever get his birdie back. "Yeah... you are... or... were..." tears hit the bed, regretting what he was about to say. "You keep this though... give it to a nice girl, okay? M-make someone as happy as you made me. Just...try and remember I loved you... Because you're the only one I've ever loved...I-I'm sorry..." With those words, he let go. Falling into a heap on the floor, he began to sob loudly. England signaled America to call the others at the meeting to inform them they wouldn't return, and that Germany was needed.  
"I...I didn't mean it like that... P-please don't cry.. I was just...shocked that I would've actually met someone.. If...if you can help me remember... then... I promise you, I'll marry you.." Matthew spoke quietly, it was the first time he spoke since the others had arrived, stunning the sobbing Prussian. "You...you mean it?" Not letting his hopes get up, he looked eagerly up at the blushing boy, who in turned nodded.  
Gil would help him remember, even if he died in the process. He wasn't losing his birdie.


	2. Chapter 2

"Good morning, birdie!" Gil spoke cheerfully, smiling again. Canada waved to him from his safe place in bed, ready to learn about himself. He knew his name already, and that he was a part of the F.A.C.E family, who were the people who came the day before. A plate of pancakes were placed in front of him, pulling the Canadian from his thoughts. "You love pancakes. You can eat like...a hugely awesome amount in one sitting." Gil spoke with his usual bubbly tone, making the younger boy giggle. "I do love pancakes... that much I can remember..." Mattie spoke in his soft voice as he began shoveling pancakes into his mouth. He glanced up at Gil, blushing a bit. "Would..would you like one?" Gil smiled at the offer, thinking to himself. 'that's my birdie...he's still there..' He shook his head, wanting him to eat, as it obviously had helped the whole 'remembering' thing.  
"You eat, Mattie. I want you to get better, remember?" Mattie nodded in return, smiling as he ate. Gil had already began talking to him, going over the basics again, his name, his family, those things. Start off small, then ease into the bigger things. There was...that one detail that he very much wanted to leave out... _No one really noticed him._  
He didn't want to say it, but it had to be said. It was what made Canada who he was. He was the innocent boy that no one noticed. That was why Gil loved him so much. Canada was someone you could count on, the type of person to always be there when you needed them. Most people didn't understand their relationship, Canada was so quiet while Gil was loud and happy. No one actually ever saw or knew Gil like Mattie did. He knew all of his secrets, like the one about him facing depression, or the one where he only acts that way to get attention because he's lonely. You know, the one where he needs help. The people who said they didn't belong together were the ones that didn't know them.  
"Canada...n-no one...no one ever notices you...I was...the first person, you said, that really paid attention to you.. The day we met.. You were alone and upset.. and no one paid attention to it, because no one even saw you. I had asked if you were okay...and...you asked me if I could see you. You...you told me I had saved your life." Gil muttered the last part, speaking in barely a whisper. He had always been...proud of that. He loved the idea of saving his life, because he knew it meant he had really meant something to Mattie. He thought he had scared him off, planning to look up and see a frightened look on his beautiful face, but, he instead felt warm arms wrap around his body, pulling him into a tight embrace. "Thank you Gilly.."


	3. Chapter 3

There was so much that still needed to be said, but it couldn't. There were things that Mattie needed to learn on his own, the things that no one can teach you. Things had seemed to be going so well...but after a while you could see that he wasn't understanding.. Gil had sat with him for nearly a month now, going over the same things day after day, picking at his mind trying to see if there was any hope of his birdie coming back. None.  
They'd began to give up hope, sort of letting this play itself out. They both knew deep down, though, that there really wasn't any hope for this. Gil had put the ring away, knowing now he would never get his chance with Mattie. He had spent the last month alone every night, cold and upset because he couldn't hold his birdie close and tell him he loved him. He knew now that would only scare him. Pancakes were just another lesson, I love you was just a way of saying I'm going to help you recover, and hugs and smiles were only out of sympathy. There was...no more passion between them. There wasn't that spark when ever one would smile at the other, or when they'd be hugged from behind. No more random kisses, no more random bursts of feelings...nothing. There just wasn't a them anymore.. He was losing it...he was losing his birdie, his everything... and he was letting it happen.. He could see that Mattie was sick of this, that he didn't want to try anymore. Anyone with eyes could see that he was done trying to get better. Gil..he was done acting like he was okay. He stopped putting on those fake smiles, he stopped laughing to make Mattie feel better, he stopped holding back his tears, Gil was done pretending. He had tried so...so hard.. But he failed... he failed his birdie..  
Today was the day...the final day of holding back. The ring was brought back out and given to Mattie, with the same words on Gil's lips as the first day he came home. 'Give this to a nice girl, make someone happy like you made me.' But, this time, he didn't wait for an answer. He knew if he stayed, it would just start over, and continue to repeat itself. Neither of them would ever get better. Turning to leave, he whispered a soft goodbye, letting a tear, the final tear, fall.  
"Pooh bear wait!"  
Freeze.  
"What did you just call me?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Have you heard? He's apparently coming back today. No one knows if he's okay. Word is he's gone a little crazy being around that albino freak for all this time. I mean, how long has it been? Three months? I hope he's alright..."  
That was right, Mattie was returning to the world meeting. Everyone was talking about him, even those who hadn't even heard of him before the incident.  
Most expected a brand new person to walk through the door, a person that only knew what he had been taught. A person that would go through life all over again. Others..well, they didn't seem to care. That's right, no one expected, or hoped, he would come back as the same person.  
And they were right.

The doors to the conference room were pushed open, the talking ceased. In walked a poker faced Gilbert, followed by a shy-smiling Matthew. Everyone stood frozen with curiosity. The two walked gingerly into the room, the silence became eerie. No one dared ask questions, as they all knew that no matter what, Gil would still be protective.  
Now you're probably thinking, 'didn't he leave?!' He had planned to, yes, but he of course, chickened out at the last minute. That was HIS birdie. And right now, they stood in front of the world that waited to see what had become of the once unseen little Matthew. "Hello, everyone. It's...good to be back... I didn't think anyone would care if I ever came back.." Mattie spoke up, breaking the silence. People broke out in whispers, some even beginning to argue. Everyone was on edge about this, which was surprising to say the least.

"Who are you?" the room erupted with startled gasps as Kumajirou spoke curiously to Mattie, who gave a soft giggle in return. He held up his hand to the crowd, the ring fit to his small finger. "I, am Canada."


End file.
